Posts tagged Dave Barry

Changes to Newspapers

Dave Barry

Dave Barry


On behalf of the newspaper industry, I wish to announce some changes we’re making to serve you better.

When I say “serve you better,” I mean “increase our profits.”

We newspapers are very big on profits these days.

We’re a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.

—–Dave Barry (former English Major)

Dave Barry Knows His History

Dave Barry

Dave Barry

“In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.”


–Dave Barry

Dave Barry vs. the Metric System

Dave Barry

Dave Barry

“The weightlifting competition I saw was the women’s 63 kg class.

I’m not sure whether this means the actual women weighed 63 kg or the weights they lifted weighed 63 kg.

Or possibly the temperature in the weightlifting hall was 63 kg.

There’s no way to know for sure without finding out what a “kg” is, and my belief, as an American, is that if I have to start understanding the metric system, then the terrorists have won.”


–Dave Barry

Journalistic Objectivity Defined

Dave Barry

Dave Barry

“We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.”


–Dave Barry

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