On behalf of the newspaper industry, I wish to announce some changes we’re making to serve you better.
When I say “serve you better,” I mean “increase our profits.”
We newspapers are very big on profits these days.
We’re a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.
—–Dave Barry (former English Major)
One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction.
Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”
(from Side Effects, 1980, “My Speech to the Graduates”)