Advertising

Changes to Newspapers

Dave Barry

Dave Barry


On behalf of the newspaper industry, I wish to announce some changes we’re making to serve you better.

When I say “serve you better,” I mean “increase our profits.”

We newspapers are very big on profits these days.

We’re a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.

—–Dave Barry (former English Major)

Language Conceals the Truth

George Carlin

George Carlin

“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”


–George Carlin

got enemies?

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill

“You have enemies?

Good.

That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”


–Sir Winston Churchill

What?

George Carlin

George Carlin

“Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.”


—George Carlin

Weapons In the Hands of Fools

Frank Lloyd Wright “I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.”


–Frank Lloyd Wright

Mencken’s Marketing

HL Mencken

HL Mencken

“Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”


–H.L. Mencken

Marketing Defined

Will Rogers

Will Rogers

“Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.”


—-Will Rogers

The Grapes of Wrath

Will Rogers

Will Rogers

“When the Okies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.”


–Will Rogers

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