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Silence Is Golden

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

“Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”


–Mark Twain

Truer Words Were Never Spoken

Ann Landers

Ann Landers

“Keep in mind that the true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him absolutely no good.”


–Ann Landers

Sage Advice

Yogi Berra

Yogi Berra

“You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”

–Lawrence “Yogi” Berra

Autobiographies

Will Rogers

Will Rogers

“When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that’s Memoirs.”


–Will Rogers

Think About It

HL Mencken

HL Mencken

“A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.”


–HL Mencken

Perfect Definition of Success

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

—-Sir Winston Churchill

Will Rogers on Deficit

Will Rogers

Will Rogers

“Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.”

–Will Rogers

Keys to Success

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”


–Mark Twain

Changes to Newspapers

Dave Barry

Dave Barry


On behalf of the newspaper industry, I wish to announce some changes we’re making to serve you better.

When I say “serve you better,” I mean “increase our profits.”

We newspapers are very big on profits these days.

We’re a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.

—–Dave Barry (former English Major)

Dead Literature

Sinclair Lewis

Sinclair Lewis

“Our American professors like their literature clear and cold and pure and very dead.”


–Sinclair Lewis

The Perfect Political Introduction

Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

—Oscar Wilde

Argument Against Democracy

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill

“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”


—Sir Winston Churchill

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